Time Out

I have not had time to blog this week. My daughter Johanna and the two boys are here visiting.

We are all heading up to the trailer for the long weekend.

I start radiation on Thursday. I have not thought about it much, I am glad because I still have some hesitations about it.

Have a terrific weekend all....... more later.

Happy Birthday Darius

4 years old today

Granny loves you

so much.

I didn't see it coming!

Yesterday I had an episode of fear... fear of the cancer recurring.

I had been having a bit of discomfort and bladder frequency and then I got a tough headache and dizziness.

I boot it to the doctors... turned out to be a UTI, but not before I was gripped with fear.

I had no idea that I would ever feel like this. I have followed the prescribed treatment plan and have not ever thought about my cancer"recurring or progressing".

I read this:

Worrying about the cancer coming back (recurring) is normal, especially during the first year after treatment. This is one of the most common fears people have after cancer treatment. And even many years after treatment, this fear may still be in the back of your mind.

It makes me feel a little better to read that this is normal.

I will have to live the next few years with this uncertainty.

I also read this:

Once we have learned to put our trust in God, we will no longer be afraid of the things that come against us. We will be like the psalmist who said with confidence “…let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you” (Psalm 5:11).

This gives me great comfort.

I will trust Him.

Today I drove! Not far, only from camp into Renfrew.
It felt a little strange when I first got in the drivers seat, but after all I have been backseat driving for 6 months so had not lost my touch.
And if you think this is a joke, just ask Jenn or Norm.
I am well named Dodi.
I remember my Uncle Fred quipping that my Granny drove her whole life and never had a drivers licence!

Since I have been at camp, I have been able to recall my dreams. Wonderful and silly events of weddings, babies, people I know in funny circumstances and people I don't know, but in my dreams.

I realize now, that during my chemo I did not have any recall of my dreams. I spent some time looking up the effects of chemo on dreams and I did not really find any thoughts or facts about this subject. I did read that the "deeper" the sleep the less likely you are to remember your dreams. I was taking a medication for pain at night ... I wonder if it was blocking my recall?

I never get too focused on my dreams, but in my dreams, I can go anywhere, I can be anybody, and I can do anything.

See you tonight, maybe?

Hair Removal before Hair Renewal

Every night I get Norm to look at my bald head and give me a progress report on the return of my tresses. There is definitely some dark nubs of hair coming up... you really have to look hard to see them... easier to feel them when you pass your hand over my head.

Having said that..... the hair on my legs has been very quick to return!! It won't be long before I need to get out the Bic Shaver and scrape them off....

Why couldn't it have been the other way around?

Preparation for Radiation Therapy
Before radiation therapy can begin, radiation oncologist (Dr. Samant) prescribed the dose of radiation that is needed, he took into consideration my general health, type and stage of my cancer. The next step in preparing for radiation therapy is called simulation. This is what I am doing tomorrow. During simulation, a CT-scan is taken of the tumor site and the exact boundaries of the treatment area are identified. This area will be marked on my skin with long-lasting ink, tattoos.
They will make me a lead-alloy block that prevents healthy areas from receiving radiation. Blocks are made from a diagram drawn on the simulation CT-scan. My radiation therapy will be five days a week for five weeks.

I will start my radiation treatments the first week of August.

I am feeling terrific!

I am heading up to the lake for the month of July.

Norm will take a couple weeks of holidays, but I am spending the whole month.

I have internet hook-up, I will be blogging from there.

So, if you get a chance, pop up and visit.

http://koa.com/where/on/55235/