Hair Cut Therapy

Yesterday, after getting the great news about the scan I really wanted to do something for myself. A nice cruise in the Caribbean came to mind but I settled on a cheaper form of therapy.

A New Hair Do!

I am going to a Day Spa Salon on Friday and seeing an amazing hair designer.

(Thanks Sarah for sharing Bryan)

I will post my new photo here soon.

Hello All ... I feel like dancing!
The CT- scan showed NO disease or anomalies. The oncologist is almost sure that my digestive/bowel problems are a result of "delayed radiation injury". To be sure, the doctor is sending me to see a "gastroenterologist" and is referring me back to the radiation department for "after care".

I did not know you could have a delayed reaction to radiation. The doctor told us that it can occur anytime even years after treatment.
So that is it!!!! One Year Clean and Clear!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, for all your thoughtful emails, support and prayers.

Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.

(I'm trying)

It has been 2 weeks since I had my Ct-scan. I am to find out the results on Tuesday, just 4 more days.

Waiting is so hard!!!! I am not feeling well and I need to resolve this.

I am struggling with my digestive system. Last Friday I was having a particularly tough day so went to see my GP... I won't get into it here now, because it would turn ugly (a rant) but the short version is he would not examine me or explore the problem. His words, "you are under the care of an oncologist for a primary condition, wait for the results of CT-scan". He wrote a prescription for an antacid!!! (I tossed it!)

On Tuesday, when I get the news that I am free of disease they will ask me to take my digestive complaint to my regular doctor.

gr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r

Unfortunately, I did not get the clean bill of health yesterday I was wanting.
I have had a bit of discomfort in my belly that I mentioned to the doctor and after an examination he ordered a CT-scan and blood work. I was not able to get the CT-scan yesterday while I was at the C-centre but he did put a ASAP on the requisition. G-R-RRRRRR
So, I will go for the scan, they will find nothing, and then I will get my clean bill of health.

Tomorrow I have an appointment at the cancer clinic.

It has been one year since the end of my surgery/chemo/radiation.

I’ve got some aches and pains that I assume are associated with nerve regeneration, or damage from chemo/radiation, (or are psychosomatic.. hehehe).

More later.........

A picture is worth a thousand words.........

I have neglected this blog all summer.

I got a nudge from a couple of my support friends ... thanks for thinking of me girls.

I am feeling terrific! Since the Ottawa Race Weekend at the end of May

I have thoroughly enjoyed life. I cancelled my last C-appointment because I did not want to come in from the trailer. The clinic was a bit annoyed with me. Next check up is in October and that should be my "one year".

In June I travelled to Alexandria, Virginia to visit my daughter, her husband and my two grandsons. I had a chance to get "light sabre" training from the boys and our StarWars battle in the park was fun.
Norm and I had all four grandsons at the Water Slides at Mont Cascade in Quebec.
Grandma Heaven.

We bought a canoe this year..... and I totally love paddling. Our lake is small but it has been a perfect place for me to practise.

Here with my grandsons who live in Ottawa.

Our little lake at Renfrew, Ontario.

We have a trailer parked permanently here. I spent just about all of the summer while Norm commuted to Ottawa for work.

I took a bazillion photos of plants and creatures this summer. I would find my subjects in the field books I brought from the library and send photos and narratives to friends and family.

I love the beauty of nature.

Lazing on the dock chatting with my daughter...

This summer was just the tonic I needed.

I was not able to jog the whole distance... this was my goal. I discovered that it was not that important missing my ultimate goal; it did not seem that important. In the end, I felt like part of a large group of athletes that put in a lot of training and made the effort to participate.

For me, the experience was 99.9% over before the race horn blew The Team

There were 2696 participants in the 2km Family Run

It was such an exhilarating experience to be among the all the runner.

(thanks to my videographer Jenn) I made it!!!!

Good Run.... bested my best time.


The Finish Line
Over 39,000 runner participated in Ottawa Run Weekend in 7 different races.

Who wants to run with me next year?

Crossing the Finish Line

This is it!

I started this blog in March of 2009. I had, had my surgery and was beginning chemotherapy. My blog, originally titled "My Treatment Journal", changed to "Rebound" after treatments ended, was a place to record my ordeals while curing my cancer. It has been a place where family and friends could be updated. It has been good therapy; it has been fun.

This weekend I am running in the Ottawa Race ... be it only the 2 km.

When I finished my radiation the radiation therapist said, "Good Bye, I hope I never see you again."

For me, this weekend will be closure, I am telling my cancer,

"Good Bye, I hope I never see you again".

I didn't actually do a cartwheel ... it just felt like I could.
My 2km workout went fantastic today!! I did not run over the weekend, and I was concerned it would be a hard go. I am starting to move so much better.
Thank you Dr. Paul
http://www.mynepeanchiropractor.com/
12 days until the race... I'll be ready!

The journey starts before you even step on the starting line.

It begins with setting goals, logging countless training hours and kilometers in rain, sun and snow. From coast to coast, training runs are mapped with one common destination: Canada's premiere race weekend; The Ottawa Marathon. For every runner the journey is different and The Ottawa Race Weekend is a journey worth making.

Depart at 4:00 p.m. from start line on Elgin Street at Laurier Ave.;

Continue south on Elgin St. to Waverly St.
Turn left on Waverly St. and head eastbound to Queen Elizabeth Driveway;
Turn left on Queen Elizabeth Driveway and continue to finish line at Cartier Drill Hall

18 days 21 hours until the race

I am a bit discouraged with my training. I thought by now I would be able to jog the whole 2km distance. I am still needing to jog/walk intermittently.

I am going to really push this week ....

Marathon + Half Marathon + 10K + 5K + 2K races - SOLD OUT.

Johanna asked for pictures..... it is hard to take photos of my training cycle because I normally do this 2km by myself. Tonight, Norm came along for the walk/jog so I had him take a photo for you Johanna.

Rock and Roll

Back on Track

For the most part my cold is gone.... I still have a cough and my energy is not totally back.

I'm upset I lost a week of training and yesterday started back.

I did not even time myself... I walked the course.

I have noticed many runners training in Ottawa this week.

There is a group of very elite runners participating.

For these athletes there is prize $ and this race is a sanctioned qualifying event for other races. (Boston Marathon)

I see on the website that the races are very nearly sold out.

I'm pumped to be part of this event!!!

The Marathon is 99% full, 2K is 80% full.
Half Marathon + 10K + 5K races - SOLD OUT.

My training has come to a stop!

With the race 29 days away, this is an untimely event.

I tried walking the route but my energy is not there.

Hope to be back on track soon.

My sister Donna is on rest too..... she is sidelined with shin splints.

ouch! they hurt!

photo taken last weekend during her visit

My sister Donna has registered for the race, travelling from Port Hope for the run.

Yippeeeee..... now we are three.

On your mark... get set... GO!

I have registered for the Ottawa Race Weekend 2km Family Run.

Last year Norm and I went and watched our daughters (husband) come across the finish line. I had started chemo and was feeling lousy that day. I told Norm then.. that this year I would be participating. I had not thought of that moment until the race was advertised this year, I remembered my promise to myself.

I started training last week, practising on a 2km route Norm drove out for me.

It is not easy, I sure feel it in my calves, hamstrings and glutes.

For the past year, my body has belonged to surgeons and oncologists, nurses and radiation therapists.

It belonged to my cancer.

By running, I’m reclaiming ownership of my body. Pray my body parts

co-operate!

(I have never been a runner, or even a fan of exercise)

When 146 runners lined up under sunny skies at Carleton University for the first Ottawa Marathon on May 25, 1975, organizers believed they were staging a one-time affair. Few would have thought that almost 30 years later, organizers would be celebrating one of Canada's oldest major marathons boasting not hundreds, but thousands of competitors.

Over the years, other races were added to enhance interest in the race weekend and make it possible for everyone in the community to participate. Now the weekend also includes the half marathon and the 5K and 2K family fun runs/walks.

Great Check-up!!!!

The doctor told me that the "mild tissue density" that has showed on the last two CT-scans did not appear in this scan. There was no evidence of disease or abnormalities.

I asked if we could stop the CT-scans now.... the doctor agreed.

I asked if I could increase the time between my visits to every 6 months.... the doctor did not agree.

So, every three months for now.

I thought it was time for a photo update on the blog... my hair has grown a bit since the last photo. I still struggle with the whole "eyebrow thing". The brows never really came back in and I am left to pencil them. I never seem to get them the same... I guess I will be forever "the lady with the antithetical brows"

March 2010

November 2009

Hair starting to come in

September 2009

just finished treatments

Signs of Old Age

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable urge.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do.
Every time I think about exercise, I lie down till the thought goes away.
God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

my sister DeeDee

You have to love your sister, especially if you are looking for a dose of honesty. During our usual Tuesday morning chat I gave her my long list of "what's ailing me" today. She patiently listened and then not so subtly said, "well, sounds to me like you are just getting old!" So, there you have it. I had a look for symptoms of old age and sure enough I have many symptoms.

I love our Tuesday morning chats, I love my sister DeeDee.

What went wrong?

I have not posted here for a few weeks because I just did not know what to say about my work experience. I worked one week only. The following week I felt unwell and called in sick. The truth of the matter was I did not want to go to work. The third week I spoke to my supervisor explaining I might have gone back to work too soon. I felt it was the perfect job. Working in a health care facility is a comfort zone for me, or so I thought. I really believed I had a lot to share on the Palliative Care Team and was excited to be working again.

The very short shifts exhausted me. While I was working I felt like I was standing still and the world was rushing by. The busyness of the units made me feel delirious.

I felt so vulnerable, I have lost my edge.

First day of work ... Fried!!!!
I really like the job; my co-workers and supervisor are wonderful. I had a good experience with all the residence I visited. However, near the end of my shift (keeping in mind it was only 3 hours long) I was fried!!!!! I actually ducked out 15 minutes early. I was so surprised that this little bit of activity would drain me so much. Physically I was great; my mind felt like it is shut down. I was weepy and dazed at the end of the shift. I have got mentally lazy. This was a real exercise for me.
So. There you have it. I know in time I will be able to do this. I need to do this!

Tomorrow I am starting a new job.
It is only a few hours a week at an Extendicare residence. It has been a year since I have worked. Norm has encouraged me to take my time, however, I am anxious to get back to my “normal” life. I am very excited but nervous at the same time.

The time is right.

My CT-scan showed mild increased soft tissue density. (sounds pretty vague, eh?)

The good news is there is no significant change since June.

This is a good thing.

No change, no worries.

They will continue to CT-scan every 12 weeks.

When the C-clinic booked my CT-scan they also booked a return appointment with the oncologist to discuss the results. I had my CT-scan last Thursday. My return visit is not until February 2nd. So, here I wait. I have blogged about "waiting" before. It is one of the hardest things to cope with when you are managing cancer.

Tests take time, healing takes time and medical resources take time to access.

I still struggle with that kind of patience. Waiting for life to unfold is hard for me.

"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act." ~ Psalm 37:7 ~

Tomorrow is my birthday.

If I had been born a "Chevy" I would look like this.

That's me, "wonderfully different!"

I am bummed out!

Yesterday was my first 3 month (post treatment) appointment.

The oncologist had some concerns about some very tender spots in my abdomen and is sending me for another MRI. I offered up some explanations for the tenderness, maybe an ulcer?, or other mundane ailment?

One thing I have learned, is that the folks at the cancer clinic deal in absolutes.... no false hope chattiness.

So .... my "clean bill of health" has eluded me for now.....

Norm and I soaking up the Florida sunshine last week

On Tuesday, January 5th I go to see my oncologist. I know that cancer survivors measure these visits and declare their survival time. At what point in time do I begin counting my survivor time? One year ago I had surgery to remove the tumor. It has been 6 months since I had chemo and only 3 months have passed since radiation was complete.

I have decided any date is arbitrary.

Time flies.

It always has, but after cancer, you treasure the time you have and carefully make the most of it.

Day Three

.... coffee withdrawal! Craving it like crazy!!!! I am soooo tempted to brew a pot... just for the smell.......

Day Two

I am having major coffee withdrawal today. I have not been able to shake this groggy feeling all day and the muscles in my neck and shoulders are so painful. No headache yet.

The most frequent symptom associated with caffeine withdrawal is moderate to severe headache. This can occur between 12 and 24 hours after last intake of caffeine. It usually lasts for one to two days, though some may have a headache for longer.

Others experiencing caffeine withdrawal may feel depressed and some feel sleepy. Some people may experience significant mood instability, which may be helped by prescribed medications. People may also have difficulty concentrating. Some undergoing caffeine withdrawal can have flu-like symptoms that include nausea or vomiting, and muscle pain or stiffness.
Generally the symptoms of caffeine withdrawal continue from two to nine days after one’s last intake of caffeine.
Most people will not feel the effects of caffeine withdrawal three to four days after stopping caffeine.

Breakfast

Steel Cut Oatmeal

2tbs. ground flax seed

1 capsule of omega 3 fish oil (mackerel, sardine, anchovy)

H2O

clementine orange

and

NO COFFEE

New studies show a link between coffee and high cholesterol. A compound in coffee called cafestol elevates cholesterol by capturing receptors in the intestinal pathway that helps regulation.

I was very surprised to read that there is a connection between coffee and higher levels of cholesterol. The study went on to say that unfiltered and boiled coffee showed the largest increase (20%). Those who drank the filtered coffee, did not see the levels go as high but when they quit drinking coffee, their cholesterol dropped.

I am so frustrated!!!! Doc Webster just phoned me with the results of my re-take cholesterol test. I have been so careful and worked so hard about not taking in any more than 15mg of saturated fats per day (0 trans fats) for the last two months. I was absolutely sure the levels would have been down.

Dr. Webster says there was no significant change. He also said that the levels are at the point where they need to be treated. I really do not want to go on Lipitor (or like drug). I asked if I could have until after Christmas to get the levels down. He agreed.

Any ideas out there?

I will take the saturated fats down to 10mg and continue to be hyper-vigilant.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Pondering

Do I say I HAD cancer? When do I NOT have cancer?

Sometimes I use the term "survivor", sometimes I don't know what to call myself!

Personally, I don't like saying the "remission" thing. It is like keeping this little niggling doubt that the cancer may return. So I prefer to say, "I had cancer, it is gone. Period."

I am now "cancer free" and although I do not know that for sure, all the visible signs show "no evidence of disease". For me, it means that right now all my tests are clear. I will keep all my check ups, be vigilant and love my life and those in it. This may not be quite how my doctor describes it, but I like positive thinking.

More about brains

TRANSPLANT

John's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant.

This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the cost yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.

"For a male brain, $1,500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."

Some of the younger male relatives tried to looked shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient's daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male and female brains?"

"A standard pricing practice." said the head of the medical team. "Women's brains have to be marked down because they have been used."

(not sure I have any fellows out there that read this blog, but if I do, sorry, this story tickled my funny bone)

Surprises

I am completely astonished that my hair is coming back curly!

All my life I have back-combed, rolled, permed and struggled to give my poker straight a bit of body. For the most part my locks have laid flat to my head.
I have a new colour, new texture and wow! curls.
A whole new me.

If I only had a brain..... I need the Wizard!!!

On Friday I am having a CT-scan of my brain. I have been struggling with what is described at chemo brain, mild cognitive impairment. It was previously thought that chemotherapy drugs didn't enter your brain, but were kept out by the blood-brain barrier, which separates chemicals that should be in your brain from those that shouldn't. Researchers now suspect some chemotherapy drugs may be able to slip past the blood-brain barrier. This could potentially affect your brain and your memory.

The scan was ordered just to make sure there is nothing else going on.

Signs and symptoms of chemo brain include:

■Being unusually disorganized
■Confusion
■Difficulty concentrating
■Difficulty finding the right word
■Difficulty learning new skills
■Difficulty multitasking
■Fatigue
■Feeling of mental fogginess
■Short attention span
■Short-term memory problems
■Taking longer than usual to complete routine tasks
■Trouble with verbal memory, such as remembering a conversation
■Trouble with visual memory, such as recalling an image or list of words

Signs and symptoms of cognitive or memory problems vary from person to person and are typically temporary, often subsiding within two years of completion of cancer treatment.

Never say Never

While I was at the C-clinic yesterday they gave me the H1N1 vaccine. My arm is very sore today. Those who have had the shot tell me this was true for them too.

I was not going to get the shot. I have only had a flu shot once in my life (big push at the hospital I was working at) that ended with me getting the worst case of the flu I had e-v-e-r had about 10 days later. I vowed I would never do this again.

Old Doc Webster talked me into getting the shot. He said that this is a nasty flu that has serious consequences for some.

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/alert-alerte/h1n1/faq_rg_h1n1-eng.php#faq1

Bad Hair Day

I am so excited!!! It finally happened! I had a bad hair day.

I woke up and there is was, a tuft of hair at the back of my head standing straight up. It required a little water and several pats to tame. I am so blessed that my hair is coming back in, thick, soft, renewed.

more about bad hair days

•If you woke up in the morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
•If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.
•If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75 percent of this world.
•If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8 of the world’s wealthy.
•If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
•If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you and, furthermore, you are more blessed than over 2 billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
So, when you feel very down, just remember how blessed you are.

The gig is up......

I had an appointment a couple weeks ago with my GP. He did all the usual office questions and checks and sent me away with a lab requisition for blood test and mammogram. He asked me to make another appointment in a few weeks to discuss the report. I asked Old Doc Webster if we could leave it as "no news is good news"? He agreed. Last week the nurse called and said he wanted to see me, not an urgent matter. I was pretty sure it was going to be about my cholesterol. Last year, my blood work showed elevated levels of cholesterol and I was given a sheet of information with diet suggestions. The sheet got tossed on the floor of the van and after a few weeks of being pushed around and stepped on I scraped it off the floor and tossed it out. The levels were borderline and everyone knows how I love to diet! Now the levels are high. Not off the chart high but getting there. Time to get serious about this........ grr-r-r-r-r-r

(all the other tests were good)

Cholesterol is a waxy, fatlike substance that your body needs to function normally. Cholesterol is naturally present in cell walls or membranes everywhere in the body, including the brain, nerves, muscles, skin, liver, intestines, and heart.

Your body uses cholesterol to produce many hormones, vitamin D, and the bile acids that help to digest fat. It takes only a small amount of cholesterol in the blood to meet these needs. If you have too much cholesterol in your bloodstream, the excess may be deposited in arteries, including the coronary (heart) arteries, where it contributes to the narrowing and blockages that cause the signs and symptoms of heart disease.

◦High cholesterol is more common in women older than 55 years.
◦The risk for high cholesterol increases with age.

Loss of appetite occurs commonly among cancer patients.

NOT!!!

I was quite prepared for the loss of appetite that is so common with cancer treatments. I borrowed a juicer, purchased "comfort foods" easy to digest and found recipes for smoothies.

I anticipated loss of weight and the struggles to keep nourished. That never occurred.

My appetite never waivered and the iron rich comfort foods put the pounds on me. I actually gained weight!!!

I chalk it up to the "Sorrell Fondness for Food".

I would like to toss off a few pounds before Christmas.

3 Months of R-e-b-o-u-n-d-i-n-g
I took this photo in July about a month after my chemo ended, I thought I looked so much better. The chemo Me was such a sight I did not post any photos during that time...

photo taken July 20th
photo taken October 20th
I feel so good!